


Oh my god, they were flatmates....

by iimbe2iile



Category: Hello Ladies, Hello Ladies (2010), Hello Ladies: The Movie
Genre: Christine Woods, F/M, Masturbation, One-Sided Attraction, Sean Wing, Stephen Merchant - Freeform, Voyeurism, also sad because i wanna read more on it SLDKJFLSDFJ, guys. i am the offical first person to write fanfic of this tv show, he just hears them, i feel special., kind of??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24386521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iimbe2iile/pseuds/iimbe2iile
Summary: Just as he started to drift off, Stuart paused at the faint sound of something hitting a wall.He was about to stand up and investigate when he heard another bang followed by a laugh, a second voice hushing the first person.He rolled his eyes, settling back into the bed.Jessica and Glenn were at it again.
Relationships: Jessica Vanderhoff/Glenn (Hello Ladies), Stuart Pritchard/Jessica Vanderhoff
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	Oh my god, they were flatmates....

**Author's Note:**

> This show is so completely underrated and I was sad there wasn't any fanfic so.... tada.   
> Got this idea from when in the show, Stuart talks about being able to hear them through the walls sdknfsdkf

Stuart took in a deep breath, shutting the front door behind him before leaning his back up against it. 

Another bust. 

Stupid ‘buddy’ of his invited him over for a drink, told him there’d be some hot girls. Of course, Stuart freshened himself up, took a good 20 minutes picking an outfit, and headed over. Turns out, however, that this guy’s definition of hot girls consisted of female prostitutes--expensive ones, at that. As much as they were beautiful women, Stuart was a little more interested in the foreplay prospect, rather than heading straight in for the orgy. Took him a while to wiggle himself out of the situation, but he eventually found himself running out to his car and heading home 200 dollars poorer. 

He pushed himself away from the front door, suddenly feeling very tired as he headed into his bedroom. Usually he would hang around for a bit, say hi to Jessica, but he wasn’t really feeling it. After a while, all of this ‘new girl every night’ business got tiring, even if he wasn’t actually getting any girls all that often. This was the third time something had gone wrong this week and honestly it was starting to take a toll on him. Sometimes he wondered why he even tried anymore. 

Luckily, he didn’t see anyone before he made it to his room. He didn’t feel like smiling or saying hello. He just wanted to sleep. 

He kicked off his shoes next to his door and quickly changed into a pair of pajamas before he plopped down on his personal computer desk, not bothering to turn on the lights. He booted up his laptop, squinting his eyes against the bright light of his desktop. Might as well do a last online check-up before bed. Make sure his 15 followers hadn’t turned into… a bigger number. 

He did a routine scroll through his Instagram, his twitter, his LinkedIn--nothing much to see. Five more likes on Instagram, that’s promising. 

Just as he closed up his laptop, he heard the shutting of a door. 

Had Jessica gone out and just come home? Makes sense why he hadn’t seen her on the couch today. She usually liked to watch a movie to wind down after auditioning. 

He shrugged it off, figuring it wasn’t much to think about, and headed over to bed. He took off his glasses, shrugged himself under the sheet, and closed his eyes. 

God, that hit the spot. When’s the last time he just got right to bed? Usually he found himself taking a few hours to settle down and watch a show and before he knew it, it was well into the night. Maybe this is better; he can wake up early and get a good start to the day. He’d make sure tomorrow was better than whatever the hell happened today. Maybe he’d even find a way to make that 200 dollars back. 

Just as he started to drift off, however, he paused at the faint sound of something hitting a wall.   
He peaked open an eye, listening closely. He was about to stand up and investigate, ready to use his sweet defense skills against a thief, when he heard another bang followed by a laugh, a second voice hushing the first person. 

Stuart rolled his eyes, settling back into the bed. 

Jessica and Glenn were at it again. He swore, those two went down on each other like a couple of rabbits sometimes. Makes sense, though. Glenn was quite the catch. Just a nice, wonderful, cool dude. No wonder Jessica’s probably begging him for sex on the daily. 

Rolling onto his side, he tried his best to ignore them. He fell into a half-sleep state at one point, but his mind continued to wonder. 

He thought about how terrible that day had been. How a lot of his days were terrible as of late. How he had too much he had to make up for, so much left he still had to do before he got too old. He thought of his list of hopes and dreams and how he might not ever get them to happen. 

Somewhere along the way, his mind got stuck on Jessica. He wasn’t sure why, but she kept fighting for the attention of his subconscious. Maybe it was a little hard not to when he could still hear her and Glenn going at it behind the walls. 

Stuart wondered how she did it. How she was able to find someone that she could be with. He wasn’t sure if they were exactly steady, but she had someone she could call over and guaranteed have a good fuck with. That had to be nice. Stuart can’t say he’s ever had the luxury. 

He thought about how nice that would be. To have someone to come home to. 

He thought about how wonderful it would be to come home and be with Jessica like that. 

That is where Stuart opened his eyes and glared at himself. 

What--uhm, hello? Stuart, you alright up there? _Jessica._ We’re talking about Jessica here. Your flatmate, Jessica. The same Jessica that never pays rent and can’t hold a job and watches weird foreign films that make no sense. The same Jessica that… does all of those things in a really strangely endearing way. 

Stuart rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. 

Weird train of thought, that was. 

He’d never thought of Jessica like that. She was quite gorgeous though, wasn’t she? She had striking brown eyes and clean, silky hair that fell in beautiful layers over her shoulders. It was no surprise to Stuart that she was with Glenn, but when he thought about it, Glenn was the one who ought to feel lucky, really. 

Jessica had to be Stuart’s best friend. She was nice and funny and was always good for a laugh or to talk to about how he’s feeling down. She was always there, wasn’t she?

Stuart flinched at another sound of something hitting the wall, a strange feeling forming in his stomach. 

He saw it for a moment, only for a whisper of a moment, but he saw it--a quick little vision of him being the one screwing Jessica. He could feel his face wrinkle at the thought, but he decided to ride this train and see what station he got off at. 

He thought of coming home like he always did, saying hi to her and her smiling up at him. He’d sit down next to her and watch a movie, his arm slowly making his way around her. At some point he’d lean over and kiss her slow, and she’d kiss him back. She’d let him guide her onto her back and he’d hover over her, his hands roaming down her sides. 

Stuart opened his eyes, shaking his head when he realized he was getting hard under his boxers. 

What a silly thing, getting an erection over Jessica. He’d been over this already--it’s _Jessica._ Come on, mate. 

He couldn’t shake the thought though. He strained his ears, hearing a few more creaks and bumps against the wall, thinking of what it would be like have sex with her. It’d be good, wouldn’t it? Being on top of her, pressing his lips against hers and pushing inside her. 

Stuart let out a soft whine, rubbing his legs together. 

Damn it. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep until he took care of this. 

Begrudgingly adjusting his position to comfortably stick his hand down his pants, he felt like a teenager all over again--quietly masturbating in his room. 

He took hold of his cock and gave it a few slow strokes, listening to the noises Jessica and Glenn were making in the next room. He wasn’t imagining Glenn though, no, he was imagining himself and Jessica. 

He ran his thumb over the head of his dick and gave it a few nice tugs, thinking of the things he would do to her. How it would feel to be inside her. How nice it would be to kiss along her neck and tightly grab her breasts and listen to the sounds she would make. Stuart would make sure to explore every part of her body, press his lips against every square inch. 

His breathing quickened as his hand worked a little harder, his Adam’s apple gently bobbing every time he swallowed. 

He imagined her coming quicker than he thought she would, her body shaking underneath him. He thought of her calling out his name and whimpering when he didn’t stop moving--how’d she be red in the face and let out a nice moan when he finally came inside her.

Biting down on his tongue, Stuart had the quietest, most shameful orgasm he’d had in years.   
He let his hand fall limp, still in his pants, after he rode out the aftershocks. He took a few moments to catch his breath before removing his hand from his pants and letting his arm hang over the side of the bed. 

That was… something. 

He eventually stood out of bed, feeling a little bit dirtier than maybe he should’ve. It wasn’t like she could ever see what he did, but he still felt a little bad. She was his friend. Friends don’t usually go around jerking off to you making love to your boyfriend in the next room, do they?

Sighing, he stood up and changed into a new pair of underwear and night pants, throwing the old ones into the hamper in the corner. He’d go out and wash his hand, but he didn’t feel like accidentally bumping into Jessica. Instead, he plopped back down into bed, letting out a long sigh. 

It’s fine. No one ever had to know. Surely, he’d forget he even did anything by morning. 

He closed his eyes and fell asleep easy within a few minutes, having a bit too good of a dream.


End file.
